Without wishing to discount the truth of your feelings, Bruce, or
downplay the strength of emotions that are clearly swirling through you, I’m
going to invite you to consider certain factors that have a bearing on the
situation in which you find yourself. In this way you may come to some limited
understanding of the reality you inhabit.
The Mommy has informed me that you first became aware of the existence
of the concept of ‘Superdog’ at the holiday camp where you spend your days when
The Mommy and Satan are on their travels. The kind people at the camp nicknamed
you ‘Superdog’ because your red coat flies up at the back when not fastened
around your bum. This gave them the impression of a cape and thus the nickname.
When Satan was regaled with this amusing tale, he vividly recalled the
existence of Krypto the Superdog from his youth. The Mommy was far too young to
remember this, she said. Satan was not believed. He sought out images of Krypto.
These reveal drawings of a lithe and muscular white Labrador. Satan may have
made some unkind comment on the utter lack of similarity both physical and
mental between you and Krypto. I
quote “ Krypto also had super-canine
intelligence of approximately human level, though with his canine traits and
interests still present.” Note the
‘his’.
It
would seem that The Mommy has left these images lying around in plain sight,
you have seen them and become the canine equivalent of a smitten kitten. You
now wish to enter into a lifelong relationship with Krypto.
Well,
Bruce, as it happens there are some things going in favour of your
desires. If you but had the
slightest understanding of what he meant, you would be able to see that the
smooth faced man has indeed made it possible for you to contemplate same sex
marriage. Notwithstanding that one of his Welsh friends has expressed great
concern about the warmth and safety of puppies. The point of his remarks
escapes me.
However,
and here you must steel yourself, Bruce, for an unpleasant shock I have to tell
you that Krypto exists only as a drawing. He has no corporeal being. We got
into a bit of a tangle in our last session about the idea of existence, and I
don’t want to muddle you. You will need time and rest to come to terms with
this disappointment. I shall speak to The Mommy.
You
need to understand that human beings are capable of limitless imagination, and
from an early age can draw wonderful things. Unlike dogs, who have to be taught
things through constant repetition. (Strangely enough, another friend of the
smooth faced man has a problem with understanding this. He is in charge of
schools, which is a worry for me but happily not for you.)
