Why has it all suddenly gone quiet in the front room?

I understand that there has been a lot of noise in the front room, where you have been spending most of your time over the last two weeks. It has stopped abruptly today and this has disturbed you. You are also no longer being allowed to take your meals in the front room. The television has gone silent until evening. 

As a dog you are meant to be able to remember things, so I am asking you to cast back in what passes for your mind to, say, a month ago. I hope you will  have prior recall of the front room as a haven of tranquillity. All that has happened is that a semblance of normality has returned to your life, for the time being. 

The phenomenon that has caused the recent noise is known as The Olympic Games. It is a fact that shouting loudly at the television has helped a number of British competitors gain medals. 

I am told that The Mommy in particular has been both an avid follower and a commentator of unrivalled expertise. She has viewed a comprehensive range of events throughout the day simultaneously on the 14 TV channels available as well as her pop-out player on the laptop. You will have noticed that any event with a horse in it has been accorded top priority. Satan is hoping to see significant improvements in your deportment as a result of your long exposure to dressage. 

The Olympics have fundamentally affected everyone and everything. The level of expertise and knowledge about the value of sport has increased exponentially throughout the country. 

For example, according to the smooth faced man, the whole process of education in this country is now going to have competitive sport at the heart of the curriculum. In time this will mean pupils will have to run everywhere. The last person to arrive will have to go and make tea or toast muffins, or clean the shoes of a prefect. 

This new enthusiasm for physical education will have local implications for your daily regime of sleeping and eating. So your anxiety may be well founded. Satan is worried, I can tell you.