This is his idea of a joke because you have a temporary patch put over your poorly eye and he thinks you look like a Pirate. Actually The Mummy was the first to raise the Pirate connection when she heard about the patch, but now she has seen you she is very concerned. You have been given some tranquillisers to keep you calm whilst your eye heals. Satan reckons The Mummy would do best on these tranquillisers as he cannot imagine how you could become any calmer given the amount of time you spend asleep.
Am I a Pirate, you ask, and why are they funny?
Traditionally Pirates were bold and unscrupulous seafarers who sailed the oceans looking for ships to capture and treasure to seize. Some of them like Blackbeard and Captain Morgan became famous and many stories were told of their exploits. They had colourful lives and a whole way of speaking became attributed to them based mainly on the hammy performance of Robert Newton in the TV series 'Long John Silver'. So as a small dog in Keighley, living as far from the sea as is practically possible the answer to the first part of the question has to be no.
Strictly speaking, Bruce, Pirates are not funny, they are thieves. Today's Pirates kidnap people and hold them hostage, they climb aboard oil tankers in remote oceans and threaten to blow them up unless they are given ransom money. These are Pirates from Somalia who would be dirt poor otherwise.
There are also some very rich and powerful Pirates around and these are closer to Keighley. They appear to have kidnapped our oil, gas and electricity supplies as well as our railways and are holding us to ransom. Our economy has been kidnapped by the banks, and now apparently our Health Service is going to cost us an additional £10 when we use it.
Satan says Aaaarrrse! He also now wants the tranquillisers, he tells me.
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