In order to unpack this issue for you,
Bruce, I’d like you to consider a number of salient points about the rhythm of
life. My preliminary research reveals that you do get tuna on your biscuits
in the evening.
As you get older you will discover it is
important to have things to look forward to. A day is a life in microcosm. We
are exhorted ‘not to let the sun go down on our wrath’, I am pleased to hear
this is not an issue with you.
Overcoming initial disappointment makes
the ultimate achievement of tuna on your biscuits in the evening of life all
the sweeter. You may wish to consult with The Mommy on this, as I understand
she is very hot on delaying gratification.
However, a word of warning… attempting
to lick off the fragrant tuna lying on top of the biscuits and avoiding the
biscuits themselves demonstrates an unhealthy attitude. Those that succumb to
this temptation have found themselves leading frivolous lives, not sustained by
a proper biscuit-based ethical dimension.
I counsel you to remember that we are
living in tough times. Many young dogs do not enjoy the living standard to
which you have become accustomed. They see their elders rewarding themselves
with luxurious diets consisting exclusively of tuna, abandoning their moral
compass, engaging in fish based Ponzi schemes and other corrupt practices that
have brought the country to its knees. They howl out in the streets and run
wild.
One final point, the fragrant tuna on
your biscuits in the evening is yours and yours alone. You need feel no
obligation to share the fragrance with either The Mommy or, especially, Satan.
A dog’s breath is pleasing only to other dogs.
No comments:
Post a Comment